President Biden: It’s time to give up the car keys
One of the most difficult things to deal with in an aging parent is asking them to stop driving. I dreaded that moment with my dad, having heard many heart-wrenching stories from friends who found themselves in the difficult place of curbing a mom or dad’s independence for the sake of safety. Parents remind their grown children that they changed their diapers, that they have an unblemished driving record, and that their kids have no business trying to tell them what to do.
I’ve been struck by the eerie similarities to the current situation with Joe Biden, who angrily rejects any suggestion that he shouldn’t be the Democratic nominee for president. He says his memory is “just fine,” and lists his achievements during his first term. He does have an amazing record of accomplishment, even if he gets little credit for it. I actually don’t have issues with him serving as president now, though I’m not sure how things will stand in 2028. My main concern right now is that he’s too old to campaign for the presidency. And the potential outcome is not a motor vehicle accident—the fate of American democracy is at stake. Biden’s inability to rest on his laurels and step aside is incredibly short-sighted and selfish and reinforces my worries about the clarity of his thinking.
Aging is very individual. A medical colleague was facilitating a geriatrics seminar recently, and one participant asserted, “I think no one should be allowed to drive after age 80.” This pissed off my friend, who is within spitting distance of that milestone. But as a consummate educator they took a breath and said, “Let’s think about this together. There are 90-year-olds who run marathons, and 50-year-olds who are profoundly unwell with cognitive decline.” The group discussed clinical examples from their own experience and agreed that such blanket statements weren’t helpful. There’s no chronological number to apply to this question.
There are some attempts to deal with the problem outside the US. I live in Portugal, where beginning at age 70, driver’s licenses are only issued for two years, and you have to get a physician’s evaluation to allow renewal. It’s a bit of a hassle, but only involves a brief visit including an eye exam, the doctor enters the okay in the agency web site, and you’re good to go. I’m in over-seventy territory now, but I don’t mind the small inconvenience in the interest of safety. Severely impaired drivers will be prevented from risking the lives of others.
My dad Neall Strand was brilliant, thoughtful and stubborn. He was a research mathematician by day and a jazz saxophonist by night, and he could be difficult to deal with in many situations. When I turned fifteen and was old enough to learn to drive in Colorado, he would be my teacher. I told my mom I wanted to do driver’s ed at school, because I didn’t want to have dad teach me. She reminded me that he had taught her and his two sisters, and said he was surprisingly patient as a driving instructor. I was dubious. Dad insisted I learn on a manual transmission. “Dad, let me learn on the Chevy! It’s better for me to drive an automatic first!” He told me not to worry, I’d get the hang of it quickly. He drove to a nearby church, deserted on a Saturday, and I was so ticked off that I jerked him around that parking lot for a couple of hours pretending I didn’t know how to get out of first gear. He just smiled and said, “Keep trying, you’ll figure it out.” I eventually gave up the charade and started shifting smoothly. When I was a teenager my family took a lot of trips across the Western US to visit family in California, and dad let me drive those long empty roads across Utah and Nevada, responsible for everyone’s safety. He was the world’s best driving teacher. Now that I live in Europe and automatic transmissions are few and far between I owe him a debt of thanks. You realize the gifts your parents gave you when you’re all grown up, just like they said.
My parents were incredibly youthful well into their eighties. My dad retired from his civil service job in his late fifties and took a visiting professorship in Australia. They loved their four years down under, and returned to visit often, including a trackless camping trip to the Outback in their seventies. After his second retirement, I persuaded my parents to move from Colorado to North Carolina to be near my family. Mom had lymphoma and did well for several years. Shortly after she died, dad developed health challenges of his own. One day he asked me to sit down with him for a serious talk.
“Justine, you know how when you were learning to drive, I told you that you had to always be aware of what was going on around you, all the time?”
“Yes dad, I remember.”
“Well, I’m just not able to process everything going on around me these days, so I’m going to quit driving.”
Absolutely remarkable. When I told friends with parents of similar ages about this, none of them could believe it. It was the right thing to do, and dad did it without being told he had to.
Dad passed away a year later, and I wanted to let his friends in Australia know. One of dad’s friends was a highly regarded jazz pianist that he played gigs with, and she played on two of the CDs he recorded. Her email wasn’t current, so I Googled her to see if I could find a way to get in touch. To my shock, what came up were news articles about an accident where she drove through two barriers and struck and killed a pregnant woman. This vibrant, talented, gracious woman had destroyed a family, and her own life, and she must have carried the burden of the tragedy with her until her death a few years later. Her attorney was interviewed outside of court, saying his client hoped to educate other elders about “the right time to give up driving.”
These memories swirled through my head as I watched Joe Biden give a combative news conference after the release of the special counsel’s report on his mishandling of classified documents. My take is that the report was written as a political hit piece and could have made the same conclusions without the snarky comments unbecoming an attorney. Asked whether he was the right person to be the Democratic candidate for president, Biden was obviously fuming and spat back answers at reporters about how much he has done as president. That’s just not going to cut it when America is facing a wannabe dictator who himself has cognitive problems—and Donald J. Trump has a network of allies and a plan for taking over the government if he is elected.
Biden has aged before our eyes. His gait is stiff, he trips on the stairs of Air Force One, his speech is slurred and mumbling. He confuses the names of heads of state, referring to leaders who died decades ago instead of the current ones, and misstating the countries they represent. He avoids questioning by the press. He declined the opportunity for a softball Super Bowl interview. The hastily called press conference to address the special counsel report made things worse, not better. All this is readily visible to the average person and increases the likelihood that Biden will lose the election.
Trump, on the other hand, is both confused and corrupt. He conflated Nikki Haley with Nancy Pelosi and said you need a voter ID card to buy a loaf of bread. Yesterday he said he would encourage Putin to do whatever he wants to Europe. He promises to target his enemies after the election, using a Justice Department he will coopt to get it done. Trump makes goofy statements constantly, but this time around he will have loyal minions with no morals to do his bidding. Trump is a malignant narcissist with an authoritarian fetish. He’s destroyed the Republican party, and if given the chance, he will destroy our republic once and for all.
Joe, we love you. We admire what you have accomplished. We thank you for your many years of service. But no, you aren’t the best candidate for the moment. Please step aside before it’s too late. You recognize that Donald Trump is an existential threat. That’s why you need to turn over the car keys.
Photo by Ivan Shemereko on Unsplash